First Cause

29 Apr

I’ve never started a fight, but I never pulled back from a fight either. — Billy Martin

Sometimes we walk around with chips on our shoulders. We’re like a tightly wound spring ready to jump at the slightest trigger, when other times we would let the same event go unnoticed. We even say self-righteously, “I didn’t start it.” Now that we are becoming more responsible for ourselves, we are owning our part in relationships. Maybe we have a problem with being like a spring ready to jump. When we are like that, we are difficult to live with or be around.

We can change by getting in touch with our pain. We need to explore our feelings. Perhaps we need to be honest with ourselves about low self-esteem, about feelings of loneliness or fear. Then we must talk with another person or our group about our feelings and continue to talk about them. In this way we become reconciled to ourselves and to our friends around us.

God, help me accept my own pain, and help me be tolerant of my friends’ mistakes.

Just poured my first cup of coffee.

This reading, from Touchstones, touches something in me. I have a lot of hurts that I have yet to address, hurts that I shield to prevent further injuring. I get defensive at the drop of a pin. I also get real nit-picky about details. Many times I’ve been scolded about getting details wrong, and I took that personally.

One of my friends talks about “first cause.” That’s about when did I first experience an emotional wound, and how have I been projecting that onto others instead of focusing on healing the wound. Hyper-sensitivity is not fun to be around.

Yeah, this is a good one for me.

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

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Posted by on 2012/04/29 in Touchstones


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