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Letting the Cycles Flow

24 May

Life is cyclical, not static. Our relationships benefit when we allow them to follow their own natural cycles.

Like the tide ebbs and flows, so do the cycles in relationships. We have periods of closeness and periods of distance. We have times of coming together and times of separating to work on individual issues.

We have times of love and joy, and times of anger.

Sometimes, the dimensions of relationships change as we go through changes. Sometimes, life brings us new friends or a new loved one to teach us the next lesson.

That does not mean the old friend disappears forever. It means we have entered a new cycle.

We do not have to control the course of our relationships, whether these be friendships or love relationships. We do not have to satisfy our need to control by imposing a static form on relationships.

Let it flow. Be open to the cycles. Love will not disappear. The bond between friends will not sever. Things do not remain the same forever, especially when we are growing and changing at such a rapid pace.

Trust the flow. Take care of yourself, but be willing to let people go. Hanging on to them too tightly will make them disappear.

The old adage about love still holds true: If it’s meant to be, it will be. And if you love someone, let them go. If they come back to you, the love is yours.

Today, I accept the cyclical nature of life and relationships. I will strive to go with the flow. I will strive for harmony with my own needs and the needs of the other person.

Source – The Language of Letting Go

This is something I’ve been going through, and struggling with. The aspect not covered in this is the grief around the end of the phase of a relationship.

It’s a very real loss, when a relationship — any style: romantic, platonic, familial — morphs drastically. We push through our lives, riding the waves of change. Whether the change builds slowly over time or is tsunami-like, it has an effect on the foundation upon which we stand our ground.

That foundation becomes like quicksand as those trusted relationships shift, and trust is challenged. Trust in ourselves, our judgement in choosing who we lean upon, who we let in and how deeply to let them in.

Grieving those changes is difficult for me. Similar to this particular reading, I was taught to look around and beyond the sadness. Ignoring the grief, burying it, has become second-nature to me. A reflexive action, no decision involved any longer. Naturally, burying it doesn’t negate it. Anger and bitterness are how the emotion eeks its way out, in sideways fashion.

I’m trying to give myself permission to feel that grief, which leaves me with the quandary of feeling safe releasing the sadness. I often only feel the catalyst, the super-saturation of grief necessary to overcome the inner defenses while in the company of other people. If those are the very people at the source of the “offending” emotions, safety is shifting simultaneously.

The people whose example I’ve been trusting all have the same message in response to that: trust in the Divine as the Ultimate Safety Net. That leads me to my current theological pursuit: Zen. If this is all temporary, merely an illusion, then the need for a safety net is the Ego scrambling for a foothold.

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

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