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Monthly Archives: April 2014

How to Stop Feeling Inadequate and Embrace Your Imperfect Self

  • Remember: You are enough!

    Ask yourself this: Whose approval are you after, anyway? You don’t need to impress anybody! Think about it. What does outside approval even get you? Other people think you are cool? They give you the “thumbs up.” You’re living your life in a way that somebody else agrees with? Hmmm.

    Well, at the end of the day, if you are not living your own truth and doing things that are in alignment with your own soul’s calling, then you will be left feeling unfulfilled and always grasping for that outside validation.

    Instead, remember this: Everything you need is already inside of you. Learn to drown out all that outside noise and just celebrate your unique beauty. A good self-check is to ask, “Am I doing this for the cause or the applause?”

  • Perfection is an illusion.

    There is simply no such thing. We’re not meant to be perfect—by design, humans make mistakes. (Otherwise, we’d be called robots).

    We all have good days and bad days. Plus, one person’s definition of “perfect” can be completely different from the next. So, why act like a crazy person and give yourself a hard time over something that is delusional? Stop the madness!

  • Think “Wabi-Sabi.”

    No, not the spicy green horseradish-like stuff you eat with sushi! It’s a Japanese aesthetic that describes beauty as imperfections. It celebrates cracks and crevices and other marks of time. Yes, it is, in fact, our imperfections that make us beautiful. Embrace them.

  • Consider: What is the impression you want to leave on the world?

    In pursuit of perfection, we can seem aloof, despondent, closed in. It’s because by being so focused on the end result, we put some serious blinders on and miss out on beautiful connections with others. People will much more closely connect with your truth (especially the right connections for you). No need to hide. Let your soul shine!

  • There is pure joy and love in truth and vulnerability.

    Allowing ourselves to be real and vulnerable is not always easy. However, living a life hiding from our true identity is even more painful.

    Living your truth means embracing and accepting all aspects of you—bumps, bruises, and all. This is, after all, the meaning of life. Unlock the potential of unlimited happiness in your life by letting go.

    Our existence here on earth is too short to live it under the neurotic premises of doing everything perfectly. Throw caution to the wind, embrace your imperfections, celebrate your authenticity, breathe in each precious moment, and give vulnerability and acceptance a try.

    You might just discover the glorious freedom that exists within, underneath the “perfect” armor.

Once you peel back all those layers and discover the breathtaking beauty of self, you might even find yourself tilting your head back toward the sky and allowing a giant smile come across your lips. You are home. Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy.

Originally posted here at tinybuddha

 
 

8 Solutions for Loneliness That Don’t Require a Romantic Relationship

Methods of avoiding actually dealing with the loneliness:

  • Workaholism
  • Cape n Tights (trying to be everyone else’s savior)
  • Personal Neglect
  • Social isolation
  • Victimhood

Methods of confronting Loneliness:

  1. Connect through your sports, hobbies, passions or interests.

    Meet likeminded people who share something that you also love. They will make time for you; other people already have full calendars.

  2. Borrow or adopt a dog and go walking.

    People talk to people with dogs.

  3. Talk to senior citizens.

    They have plenty of wisdom, time, and advice that they can share. By listening, you are also validating them as well as yourself.

  4. Expect it to be challenging.

    It may be difficult for you, but don’t give up. Keep going but start with the easiest options first.

  5. Find out why you feel lonely.

    Perhaps there is some bitterness, resentment, or guilt that you are carrying around. It is time to forgive yourself and others so that you have the best chance possible to connect with yourself and others.

  6. Celebrate.

    Develop new routines and rituals to celebrate special occasions and reward your new healthy behaviors.

  7. Be brave.

    It takes courage and persistence to overcome your bad habits—but it all starts with you, not someone else. Ask for help, seek some guidance, but take full responsibility for your happiness.

  8. Dream big.

    Visualize what you want in the future and watch it materialize. Keep your vision sharp and clear.

    Can you see how none of these suggest finding a partner or fixing the one you have? Isn’t that liberating? By connecting through various people, activities, or regular commitments, you are no longer dependent on a partner to complete you or help you overcome your feelings of loneliness.

And you may just find that when you are no longer lonely, you will be happy—with or without a partner.

Originally found here

 

Emotional Wellness

If you want to boost your emotional health then build the following into your life:

  1. Develop a good group of friends. If possible, try and have quite a wide group of friends. That then means if someone moves away, or you change your school, your hobbies and so on, you’ll still a healthy support system in place.
  2. Learn to appreciate solitude. Isolation isn’t the same as solitude. Isolation is being cut off from others for negative reasons; solitude is enjoying space and time for yourself – so you can recharge your batteries, and enjoy just being “you”.
  3. Invest time in get fit. People who are fit and healthy generally feel better about themselves. Also, exercise releases feel good hormones so we feel happier, more optimistic and relaxed.
  4. Allow yourself to “goof off” and have a laugh – as too much work will drain your energy.
  5. Discover your passion and invest time in that. We all have something that brings us alive, and seems to resonate with who we are inside … So investing in your passion is extremely satisfying!
  6. Plan for difficulties and problems. We all encounter problems and hard times in this life. Expecting that to happen helps us feel more in control – as we understand it’s normal – so we don’t just fall apart.
  7. Work on increasing your self-awareness. As above, we all have blind spots and idiosyncrasies. If we can learn about ourselves, and our natural tendencies, we can learn to master weaknesses, and work to change and grow.
  8. Be willing to take risks. Though it’s hard to step out into unknown territory, you’ll find it’s more rewarding to stretch yourself and grow.
  9. Watch out for energy vampires. There are plenty of people who will drain your energy so learn how to say “no”, and to set some boundaries.
  10. Ask for help when you need it. We all need support and encouragement at times … And offer help to others when things are tough for them.

From this Tumblr

 

7 Tips for Overcoming Feelings of Inadequacy

  1. Remind yourself that you are not who other people think or say you are.
  2. Remind yourself that everybody makes mistakes at times, has areas of weakness, and things they want to change.
  3. Remind yourself of ways in which you’ve grown and changed with time. You’re not who you once were – so celebrate how far you’ve come.
  4. Also, the ending isn’t written and the future isn’t fixed. You’re free to change your image, and an old identity.
  5. Identify the lies you have believed about yourself – and work on changing them so they’re more accurate and true. Also, don’t reinforce those lies by acting like you think they’re true.
  6. Remember that your feelings are not the same as facts. Don’t live based on your feelings … as that will keep you trapped.
  7. Hang out with those who see, and who appreciate, your worth. And take their words to heart, and let them help to build you up.

I found this little list here

 

Initiating Relationships

Often, we can learn much about ourselves from the people to whom we are attracted.

As we progress through recovery, we learn we can no longer form relationships solely on the basis of attraction. We learn to be patient, to allow ourselves to take into account important facts, and to process information about that person.

What we are striving for in recovery is a healthy attraction to people. We allow ourselves to be attracted to who people are, not to their potential or to what we hope they are.

The more we work through our family of origin issues, the less we will find ourselves needing to work through them with the people we’re attracted to. Finishing our business from the past helps us form new and healthier relationships.

The more we overcome our need to be excessive caretakers, the less we will find ourselves attracted to people who need to be constantly taken care of.

The more we learn to love and respect ourselves, the more we will become attracted to people who will love and respect us and who we can safely love and respect.

This is a slow process. We need to be patient with ourselves. The type of people we find ourselves attracted to does not change overnight. Being attracted to dysfunctional people can linger long and well into recovery. That does not mean we need to allow it to control us. The fact is, we will initiate and maintain relationships with people we need to be with until we learn what it is we need to learn – no matter how long we’ve been recovering.

No matter who we find ourselves relating to, and what we discover happening in the relationship, the issue is still about us, and not about the other person. That is the heart, the hope, and the power of recovery.

We can learn to take care of ourselves during the process of initiating and forming relationships. We can learn to go slowly. We can learn to pay attention. We can allow ourselves to make mistakes, even when we know better.

We can stop blaming our relationships on God and begin to take responsibility for them. We can learn to enjoy the healthy relationships and remove ourselves more quickly from the dysfunctional ones.

We can learn to look for what’s good for us, instead of what’s good for the other person.

God, help me pay attention to my behaviors during the process of initiating relationships. Help me take responsibility for myself and learn what I need to learn. I will trust that the people I want and need will come into my life. I understand that if a relationship is not good for me, I have the right and ability to refuse to enter into it – even though the other person thinks it may be good for him or her. I will be open to the lessons I need to learn about me in relationships, so I am prepared for the best possible relationships with people.

Originally found here

 

This is good

http://bit.ly/1m0gqSg

 
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Posted by on 2014/04/28 in Attitude, Spirituality, Trust

 

How to Create a Positive Impression

It’s normal to feel anxious in a new situation … in a new job, at a party, or a social event. We know that first impressions matter … And so much hangs in the balance … And we want to seem like someone who is warm and friendly … And not like someone who is stupid, or some weirdo to avoid. Understanding body language is fundamental here … And the tips below can help you make the right impression. Read the rest of this entry »