Monthly Archives: June 2014

BPD and problems with relating with others…/coping skill

BPD and problems with relating with others… ESTABLISHING relationships. DBT coping skill;
I noticed that one of the problems is we are afraid of being ASSERTIVE, which mean describing in any kind of relationship what we want and stand for our values.

Also if someone says they will see us tomorrow and they cancel that day, We allow our thoughts to control our emotions and think;
a. It had to be about me.
b. They don’t like me
c. Nobody wants to be my friend
d. If they call me, I will not pick up the call., screw them!
e. I should have known better, everybody cancels.

*NOTE: All the above is distorted thinking and not based on FACTS and because it’s hard to be ASSERTIVE, we don’t want to deal with that and how we feel. WE have all these thoughts without FACTS.

We can ask, are you okay. Perhaps we can see each other another day. Thanks.

NOT give in to the resisting urges by using MINDFULNESS

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Posted by on 2014/06/22 in Uncategorized



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Posted by on 2014/06/22 in Uncategorized


Seeing Your Worth

Doe Zantamana

When you discover your self-worth, you will lose interest in anyone who doesn’t see it.

They may accuse you of having a big ego or wanting someone who is perfect, but those are guilt and shame triggers.

Love has no guilt and there’s no shame in self-respect.

If they mistake one for the other, it just means they don’t have what you’re looking for.

Of course you can reflect and ask yourself honestly if you’re being unreasonable or expecting more than you give. If that’s the case, you can apologize and carry on.

But things like honesty, consideration, making time for you…those are basic necessities and not unreasonable at all. If they think that’s too demanding then they’re just not ready or able to be in a healthy relationship.

Love for them would be to accept them as they are. Love for yourself would be to realize that would not be good for you and to let them go just as they are without trying to change them.

-Doe Zantamata



What do you mean you cannot SAVE PEOPLE and just love them?

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Posted by on 2014/06/14 in Uncategorized