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Friendship with oneself is all-important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.
—Eleanor Roosevelt

In recovery, perhaps first we make peace with ourselves, and not until later do we become our own friends. We have been at war with ourselves and in turmoil with our families, even while feeling like victims. This program lays out Twelve Steps we can follow to become friends with ourselves. In recovery we may still feel self-hate when we constantly monitor our every action, when we react to our mistakes by berating ourselves, and when we dwell on past offenses. Would we put a friend through that?

A true friend will accept you as you are. He doesn’t put you down or call you derogatory names. He’ll give you honest feedback and won’t put on a false front. He’ll support you when you’re in trouble. Being our own friend means doing these things for ourselves. Perhaps we can even embrace and be kind to the part of ourselves that is addicted and codependent.

Today, I will be a friend to my whole self – even the parts of me I have rejected.
From Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men ©1986, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the written permission of the publisher.

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Posted by on 2017/12/22 in Uncategorized


Protected: It’s coming on again

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Posted by on 2017/08/22 in personal, Uncategorized


Nothing changes if nothing changes

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Posted by on 2017/07/03 in Uncategorized



I’m craving a distraction. I know I desperately need to clean, and all I can think about is what Star Wars Lego kit I could buy. There really aren’t any for sale right now that I even want.

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Posted by on 2015/12/01 in Uncategorized




Forget relationships and learn how to relate.

Once you are in a relationship you start taking each other for granted — that’s what destroys all love affairs. The woman thinks she knows the man, the man thinks he knows the woman. Nobody knows either! It is impossible to know the other, the other remains a mystery. And to take the other for granted is insulting, disrespectful.

To think that you know your wife is very, very ungrateful. How can you know the woman? How can you know the man? They are processes, they are not things. The woman that you knew yesterday is not there today. So much water has gone down the Ganges; she is somebody else, totally different. Relate again, start again, don’t take it for granted.

And the man that you slept with last night, look at his face again in the morning. He is no more…

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Posted by on 2014/11/23 in Uncategorized


Connecting with Joy

Connecting with Joy

Shambhala Blog

Book coverThe more we connect with a bigger perspective, the more we connect with energetic joy. Exertion is connecting with our appetite for enlightenment. It allows us to act, to give, to work appreciatively with whatever comes our way. If we really knew how unhappy it was making this whole planet that we all try to avoid pain and seek pleasure?how that is making us so miserable and cutting us off from our basic goodness?then we would practice as if our hair were on fire. There wouldn?t be any question of thinking we have a lot of time and we can do this later.

Yet when we begin to practice exertion, we see that sometimes we can do it and sometimes we can?t. The question becomes: How do we connect with inspiration? How do we connect with the spark and joy that?s available in every moment?

From Comfortable with Uncertainty: 108…

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Posted by on 2014/08/20 in Uncategorized


In Mindfulness Practice There is No Goal

In Mindfulness Practice There is No Goal

Shambhala Blog

Book coverConcentration involves something to grasp, something to hold onto. You are ?here? trying to concentrate on something ?there.? Rather than concentration, we practice mindfulness. We see what is happening there rather than developing concentration, which is goal oriented. Anything connected with goals involves a journey toward somewhere from somewhere. In mindfulness practice there is no goal, no journey; you are just mindful of what is happening there.

From The Myth of Freedom and the Way of Meditation by Chgyam Trungpa, page 60

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Posted by on 2014/08/05 in Uncategorized