BPD and problems with relating with others… ESTABLISHING relationships. DBT coping skill;
INTERPERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS SKILLS . .
I noticed that one of the problems is we are afraid of being ASSERTIVE, which mean describing in any kind of relationship what we want and stand for our values.
Also if someone says they will see us tomorrow and they cancel that day, We allow our thoughts to control our emotions and think;
a. It had to be about me.
b. They don’t like me
c. Nobody wants to be my friend
d. If they call me, I will not pick up the call., screw them!
e. I should have known better, everybody cancels.
*NOTE: All the above is distorted thinking and not based on FACTS and because it’s hard to be ASSERTIVE, we don’t want to deal with that and how we feel. WE have all these thoughts without FACTS.
INSTEAD WE CAN;
We can ask, are you okay. Perhaps we can see each other another day. Thanks.
NOT give in to the resisting urges by using MINDFULNESS